Live From Onehunga: John & How to Challenge, Strengthen Beliefs

While attending a church in Auckland, New Zealand, I met John Nash. 

John is a solid legend. He is young, works under the son, is married and has a handsome new baby boy. Oh, and for fun, he studies philosophy and theology. For these reasons and more. John quickly became one of my favorite people to talk with.  It also helps that he is a guy who is always down to grab a cuppa or a pint. 

Over the course of our friendship, we had plenty of meetups to chat about the various ongoings of our lives. Near the beginning of our hangouts, one of these pint nights stuck with me. 

Just after meeting up, we stopped at a bookstore adjacent to our spot. John told me about his desire to learn the opposite of what he’d be taught. In fact, he searched for it. John believed that there’s no way he could be right about every single thing, right? So why not listen to the other side of his beliefs. 

So John walked in and said to the book store worker, “I am a conservative, straight, white male. Could you please give me something written by someone is the opposite of me?”

BOLD

John has a knack for challenging himself. He knows not people have truths to teach him, just as much as he has truths to share. He uses this challenging of self to expand and strengthen his beliefs. 

In an era where people would choose to stick to their communities of thought, John makes a point of it to search for the different. Not everything he learns changes his beliefs, but he does become a more understanding person as well as a more confident person. 

I am so happy to chat with John about this idea of challenging himself, his new role as a pastor, and his recommendations for others. 

This episode is found on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and right on this link. 

Enjoy! 

2020: My Phrase of the Year in Review

For those of you who followed my blog at the beginning of the year I announced my phrase of the year, which is linked below.

Because, obviously all of you remember it, let’s say it together, with charisma: SHOW ME SOME (FLUFFY) PASSION!

It was quite a good one if you ask me. 

As this year is coming to a close, I figure it’s time to review my phrase and how I applied it throughout the year. However, this year wasn’t quite like other years. So…

Like much of the world, I spent plenty of time in lockdown doing my part to save my little piece of the world by staying at home. Of course, like many others I spent a lot of that time with my good friend, Netflix. The selection of shows on New Zealand Netflix is pretty good! 

If Netflix was my passion, I followed it down every genre they offer.
Thankfully, I have more passions than Netflix.

Other things I did while the world was in timeout include creating a photography studio. Studio KBC, as I like to call it, started because of a flood. After a series of hard rainy days in Christchurch, the room I was living in with five other individuals began to flood. Eek! 

As I helped empty bag after bag out of the room, we were all grateful to see nothing of consequence was ruined by the water. When we took out the carpeted tile pieces on the ground, I began to see how empty the room was. Then I noticed the room was quite long as well. This triggered an idea for me. 

You see, a month or two before this, I called, emailed, and stopped by a local photographers office for a job. It was a studio gig that I was excited about purely because the idea of working in a studio is an experience I lack. Despite my persistence, I didn’t get the position. 

Ultimately, in a phone conversation the photographer told me my photos lack creativity. 

And I took that personally! 

As I stood in the empty wet room, I thought to myself, this is my studio. The water was drained, but no one was allowed to live in there any longer. I took the opportunity to find all the black sheets and blankets in the hostel. Then I found all the clips and I wasn’t offered the job in the studio, but I was going to make my own. 

Creativity is my passion. I was definitely on track here.

Oh, I didn’t stop there. During the six weeks, I emailed about 300 different companies, yes, 300, asking them if they were in need of a photographer. You know how many decided to hire me? Guess!

Zero. Literally None. 

Did that deter me? No. Alright, maybe a little, but I’m a resilient person. 

Turns out, the hostel I was living in enjoyed the pictures I posted on my personal instagram and offered me an opportunity to do the same for them. The owner then introduced me to other companies who needed a photographer and web designer for their company. I showed myself some fluffy passion, and became a travel photographer. Something that was only a dream for such a long time. 

My vocation as a photographer is a passion and I followed through on it.

I didn’t only have passion in my professional life. I showed some passion in my spiritual life as well. Previous to the pandemic, I attended a great little church in Christchurch. They were a giving church, always trying to help the people in their city. I loved it. 

However, someone else told me about a church called Majestic. I searched for them on instagram. Cuz bruh, its 2020, and that’s a new standard for me when looking at churches. 

I was pleasantly surprised to find some of the most creative content I’ve seen in New Zealand. Not just for a church or organization, but just in general. Whoever does it for them there, does a fantastic job. I also saw that they were going to have Erwin McManus as a guest speaker. Mr. McManus is the pastor of Mosaic church in Hollywood that I listen to very often. After seeing that, you could call me a fish, because I was hooked! 

I sincerely apologize for that pun. It was bad, very bad. 

When I arrived I met artists. Plenty of them. Photographers, dancers, performers. I was in a haven for children who wanted to explore hip hop, young people who wanted to sing, and adults who wanted to create murals. It was amazing to see a church be so creatively forward. It was almost like the catholic churches of hundreds of years ago. The ones with major stain glass and sculpture work, except in a modern society.

My faith is my passion. So yes, I showed my passion there too.

I only found this church because I pursued my passion. The commitment to the pursuit of it showed me something new in multiple areas of my life. That’s what following a passion does.

Passion leads you to the unexpected.
Passion shows you what you didn’t know existed.
Passion takes you where you didn’t know you needed to be. 

In a year where so many things have happened, none of which went as we may have expected, I was able to thrive in this pursuit. I showed plenty of fluffy passion this year. Though, if I’m honest, I feel like I could have shown more passion on some days. However, I’m happy with that which I’ve shown. 

I can move into 2021 more confident in my ability to show passion than I was a year ago. 

Now…time to think of a new phrase. 

I’m Back in the US!…Now what?

It’s December 1st as I start to write this. I’m in Sacramento, California and just a few short months ago, I did not expect to be here. 

Coincidentally, I mentioned to my sister in January that it would be very cool to be with the family this year for the Christmas holiday. You see, because of jobs, traveling, and moving to another state, I physically been with my whole family on Christmas Day in eight years. 

That’s quite the streak if you ask me. 

In that discussion with my sister, I spoke while I was celebrating a birthday on a hike in Wanaka, New Zealand. I knew that in late October of this year, both my brother in law and sister would be celebrating their 40th. (Happy belated birthday!) Our father would be celebrating his 60th in mid December. (Happy early birthday dad). And finally, my 30th would come mid January. 

To me, spending a portion of December celebrating all of those birthdays and a Christmas seemed like the perfect combination! I spoke that idea thinking that I would have a job by then that would pay me enough to afford a round trip flight to California. 

However, plans changed!

Less than two months later, I was enclosed with 27 of the best people to be stuck with during a global pandemic. Stunningly, I didn’t know a single one of them more than a month before we spent lockdown together. Yet somehow, it was perfectly splendid. 

Once the locked ended in New Zealand, I started working. Putting my talents to work for various companies, I was taking my photography to anyone who would look at it. A local wine bar said yes to hosting an exhibition for my art! I found my way into a conversation with a member of the board of directors at the Art’s Centre in Christchurch. After the discussion, we agreed to photography studio operated by me. A studio of my own! What a dream come true.

However, plans changed.

Once I found out I needed to leave New Zealand, it was less than 12 hours that I had a fully fleshed out plan about leaving the country. It didn’t come easily. I spent plenty of time thinking and feeling the stress of booking a flight quickly. I received two potential offers for sponsorship on a working visa and therefore staying in New Zealand. But, just like I mentioned, earlier in the year I spoke my desire to be with my family this holiday. I had a feeling that I would need to be here. My sister was having a baby, and I would very much like to be present for that. 

The idea was come stay with my family through the holidays, then head back to my home in Denver for my birthday. I would search continuously for a job in Alaska, because my next adventure is to be the Pan American Highway, something I’ve spoken about with friends previously. 

However…plans changed.

Now, as I mentioned, I find myself sitting in my sister’s living room in South Sacramento, fully intent on staying in the area until summer; much longer than my original plan. I’ve started a job as a studio photographer. It’s not my studio, but it’s a studio nonetheless! I’m excited. 

I was fortunate to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Within a few days, I’ll be spending my first Christmas with the same loved ones. As I mentioned, it’s the first time since 2012. I don’t know if Santa brings presents at my age. Nevertheless, I’m excited.

As you know by now, I have The Live From Podcast which debuted last week! It’s thrilling for me to create something fresh and new. It’s one thing I didn’t find myself committing to until a friend said, “What are you waiting for, hit the record button now.” Truthfully, I’m excited.

 

So, to answer the question ‘what IS next?’ Well, right now, to be honest, the answer is both simple and complex, simultaneously. Part of the answer is I don’t fully know. The other part is I’m going to live out the plan I spoke out in January.

Right now, I’m going to be right here.

I had some great things going for me in New Zealand. However, things changed, as they do. Now, I have some different great things going for me in California. 

But I still have my eye on that Pan American Highway…

Introducing: The Live From Podcast!

One compliment I often receive is that my voice could be on a podcast. Some people even go further and say even my face was made for radio!

I taught English as a second language for a year and lived with a variety of citizens from other countries. If there’s one thing I’ve gained from those experiences, it’s speaking with a slower cadence and pronouncing my words more clearly. These traits combined made me a decent conversationalist for many non-native English speakers.

So this alone makes me qualified to have a podcast! (sarcasm intended)

I was previously making vlogs and posting them on my blog to work on video creating and editing. It was a blast. So much fun to create video content. I failed in so many ways, it was magical! I learned so much and have much more respect for those YouTube personalities.

When the lockdown of New Zealand happened in March, just like for many people, it halted everything in my life at that point.

Including my vlogging and blogging.

Despite my lack of online content, I created in other ways. I gave my photography commitment, which led to job opportunities. I spent more time playing the guitar. I spent much of my uni years learning instruments, so it felt nostalgic to play music again.

As time progressed, I started to crave creating something online yet again! That’s where this podcast idea came to mind. Spending lockdown with 28 other individuals all stuck together for about 6 weeks, you start having deeper conversations about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

You also have conversations about who has a crush on who.

 

As we all separated our different ways, I still wanted to have these similar conversations with the new people I interacted with. As the lockdown was lifted and I felt freer, I felt encouraged to start creating something new again.

Inspired by conversations, interesting facts about others, and traveling around New Zealand, I decided to create a podcast. If you think about it, pretty much everyone has a podcast these days, so why not make my own!

I mean…people say I have the voice for it.

So without further ado, allow me to introduce The Live From Podcast!

(Feel free to ooh and aah. Applause is also acceptable.)

What you’ll be hearing throughout this series are many different conversations. Some that are hilarious, some that are informational, others may be even encouraging. Each episode is unique as the individual(s) I’m speaking with. Most of which will be very easy to listen to as I attempt to keep them between 20-30 minutes.

Each episode that comes out will come with a companion post on my blog. I’ll post it for your reading pleasure just as the podcast will be posted for your listening pleasure. If you decide to subscribe just to the podcast on whichever app you listen to them, the blog will be unique and simply add information to the episode and can be read either before or after.

 

In this first episode, I have a guest host! Yes, you heard me correctly, a guest host!

Since you’ll constantly hear me asking questions to my guests, I thought it would be a great idea to start season one by someone asking me questions and set the record straight on what to expect with this podcast and the inspiration for it.

I have an excellent guest host on this episode: Juan Chavez. He is a father of three, married for 16 years, and engineer for 22 years. I am pleased to have him as my guest host. He is one of the most inquisitive people I know; excellent at tracking conversations and asking the right questions to further a topic. He is a great conversationalist and intellectual making him the perfect person to speak with.

He also happens to be the best brother-in-law I could’ve been given.

Are your ears ready? Because I’m excited to share this project with you. You can click this link here: https://anchor.fm/thelivefrompodcast and it’ll take you to my distributor Anchor. There you can click play to start the podcast or click on the icon for Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or any of the other ways to listen. Though you can simply just search for the podcast, it’ll be easier to find it via my link.

 

Oh, oh, oh. Don’t forget to subscribe on wherever you listen to podcasts!

Final Impressions of New Zealand

Currently, I’m sitting at Sacramento International Airport. Having just landed from my just about 25 hour trip from Auckland to Sydney to San Francisco to Sacramento, I’m reflecting on my time in New Zealand. 

When I first landed in New Zealand I wrote about my first impressions of living in the country. Two months in, I wrote a second. And later, a third. 

This is my final installment of the impressions of the New Zealand series. Well, never say never, right?

Tourism

From Cape Reigna and the 90 Mile Beach in the north to Milford Sound and the Caitlins Coast in the South, there is so much to see. Nearly everyone you meet at these famous places is doing some form of a road trip around the North or South Island. From city to city, there are festivals and activities for the whole family across the country. People from all over the world come to visit these places and soak in the culture of New Zealand. During this post covid time, tourism is down. However, the locals of New Zealand have stepped up and began touring their own country! 

COVID

As lockdowns happen across the world, it’s easy to see people’s commitment to keeping one another safe. When the lockdown was announced people pulled together. Despite the uneasiness of the unknown and the potential of losing jobs and businesses, people gave to one another. They helped the elderly get food without risking them in the process. They stayed away from each other while out for walks. They used the tracer app and sign in and out of locations if they didn’t have the app. People helped each other. It wasn’t perfect, but they tried their best for one another. 

Government

It’s not perfect. By no means is it perfect. However, they are a solid representation of their residents making decisions that are keeping their people safe. Their decisions also affected thousands of those on working and holiday visas, including myself. Their decisions are a part of the reason why I am now sitting in this airport rather than sitting in New Zealand. Despite me being thousands of kilometers away, I’m quite pleased with the government and what they’re doing. 

My final impression of New Zealand is the people I interacted with daily. The tourists who were stuck with me during the government-mandated lockdown. I enjoyed myself so much with each of these people, creating so many memories that will not soon be forgotten. I enjoyed the ups and downs of life in New Zealand. I cherish the dance parties, the dinner outings, the early morning hikes, the beach hangouts, and all the in-between. 

 

My overall impression of New Zealand is the love I shared with many friends, many of who became my family. 

All Eyes On Me

Sometimes, I think about Jameer Nelson.

It’s okay if you don’t know who he is. He had a better than average career in the NBA that fizzled out slowly over time.

If my memory serves me right, he made the NBA Finals only once in his career. Actually, I know exactly when; it was 2009, I remember because he lost to Kobe Bryant and my favorite team. 🙂 Nevertheless, I remember that particular championship series for more than just my team winning.

What is etched in my memory about him is his famous tattoo. One of the most memorable tattoos in the NBA. On his back, from shoulder to shoulder are the words ”All eyes on me.”

A big tattoo with bold words.

The tattoo is a tribute to 2Pac and also Nelson’s belief in himself. Nelson was never a great player per se. He was never even the best player on any team. Yet still, he believed that all eyes were on him.

. . . . . . .

Not too long ago as I was preparing for my road trip, my friend Emily told me in a serious tone, I need to be very careful calling myself a Christian. She informed me that many people don’t like Christians.

“It’s not your fault, you’re fine.” Emily said to me, “But Christians don’t really make a good name for themselves. And you are associating yourself with them. People are going to watch you closer because of that title.”

It reminds me of another friend, Sarah. Sarah’s great, but she hates chiropractors. She hates chiropractors like a city person hates the country life. She’s never experienced it first hand, she won’t listen to why someone loves living in the countryside, and she’ll never get close enough to learn more about it. She says she’ll never go to a chiropractor because “chiropractors believe in weird things that aren’t right!”

They believe in weird things?

Apparently, she was talking about the chiropractors who believe they can help fight the flu, sinus issues, and other various ailments of the body by adjusting the spine.

Is that weird? We live in an era where we can stand in front of a mysterious box that shoots invisible waves into the body and kills tumors inside. I’m just going to say we’ve come far in medicine, I’m not sure if there are weird ideas that can’t find their way to existence.
I digress.

I’ve gone to chiropractors all my life in different states and countries, yet I have never heard a single chiropractor say that to me. I don’t know if it’s true, but to be honest, I would be inclined to believe it! Every time I get a cold, there is one spot in my spine that starts to hurt just a bit. Each time I feel that pain, I know I need to start drinking more water and take some vitamin C because a cold is coming.

Despite never hearing from the horses’ mouths about these chiropractic wonders, there are apparently a few out there who have said it enough times to negatively affect people. People who’ve never directly heard them say it or experienced it for themselves no longer want to seek chiropractic care of any kind.

I’m no chiropractor, but it seems like there are a few ruining it for the rest of them.

. . . . . . .

I’m going to bring up a former coworker and continue with the long way ‘round to my point.

This coworker learned that I was a Christian and assumed a lot about me. He was probably, one of the most closed-minded persons I’ve ever met. He had this idea that all Christians were the same, had a cookie-cutter upbringing, and believed the exact same things across the world.

Despite me being the Christian, he knew more hymns than I do. He would sing them regularly to mock my faith.

Despite me being the Christian, he was well versed in church history and would demand I apologize to him directly for things like the Crusades, Christian slave owners, and Christian white supremacists.

Despite me being the Christian, he was the one who believed in numerology and had fears of numbers like “666” and was surprised whenever I was chill about the numbers popping up.

Funny how that happened.

. . . . . . .

Listen, I get it. I really do. Christians haven’t been the best people in the world throughout history. Heck, Christians haven’t even the best people during my lifetime. There’s a reason why Gandhi said, “I like your Christ, but your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Ouch, tell me how you really feel.

Then again, Gandhi wasn’t perfect either. There are plenty of stories about his troubled life. Other religions, nations, scientists, literally any group of people with any time of history weren’t perfect.

Apparently, chiropractors aren’t perfect either.

I believe in the work that chiropractors do. I’ve been going all my life. I’ve been to enough chiropractors around the world to know they aren’t all good at their job. Yet, I still go to them for help because I know I need it.

Unfortunately, instead of letting the individual practitioners each show their knowledge, skills, and helpfulness, people from the general public refuse to go to them. They rather stay away because they heard once, from a friend of a friend, that one of them, somewhere, believed they can help people even more through a different method.

Curse them for trying to be more helpful in a new way, right?

Chiropractors are stuck in a predicament. What should a regular chiropractor who is helping people do?

Should they stop helping people with their spine adjustments?

Should they stop calling themselves a chiropractor in hope that people will see they are not like the others?

. . . . . .

I’ll be honest, I tried that last method for a while.

I was tired of all of it.

Tired of the Christians who protest funerals of fallen soldiers.
Tired of the Christians who believe every Republican candidate is the new Lord and Savior ready to redeem them.
Tired of the Christians who said, “I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.” (I’m not even sure what that means!)

So I stopped calling myself a Christian.

I felt trendy and edgy. I was the “Christian who wasn’t a Christian.” I was going to change the perspective of Christians by no longer being called one. Let them fix their own problems, then maybe I’ll be called that name again.

I can’t remember how long I did this. It was long enough to realize, the problem at the end of my trend wasn’t the name. It was me. No matter what I called myself, I was still making decisions that made other Christians and non-Chrisitan question my belief.

Hundreds of years ago, there was a belief in the Christian faith that you had to look perfect in order to bring yourself to God. Priests and pastors alike who dress in the finest of clothing to ensure they were representing God well enough.

That line of thought led masses of people to believe they need to “clean themselves up” before coming to God. That God wouldn’t want someone like them because they were too dirty, too messy, too unlike what they were seeing from the Church.

Thankfully, some churches have matured since then. If God wanted someone perfect to represent him, he wouldn’t choose me. He wouldn’t choose any human. We’re imperfect.

And that’s kind of the point.

Why did God have three murders write the majority of the Bible?
Why did God have a prostitute listed as one of the greatest persons of faith?
Why did God allow two men who constantly squabbled with each other to be his famous disciples?

Because those are the people he chose. Murderers, prostitutes, testosterone filled man-children, those are the people He wants. Those are the people Jesus hung out with when he was on Earth.

Those people are God’s kind of people

God is trying to say, “Hey, I’ll take them, I’ll take you, I’ll take anybody. Literally, anybody.” That’s the point.

. . . . . .

I appreciate Emily trying to protect me from people who don’t want to associate with Christians. Just like chiropractors, I’m not going to change everything I say I am just because a few of them are messing it up for the rest of us.

If people should want to focus on me because I’m a man of faith let them.

Let them see me struggle and fail, time and time again.
Let them see me get back up after each failure.
Let them see me try, and try again, despite my consistent flaws and poor habits.

Let them place their eyes on me and watch my life.
Let them see how I live, how imperfect I am.
Let them understand that God will take anybody.

Even me.
Even them.

Road Trip: The Plan

So it’s been a little while since I posted a vlog about my road trip. You can watch my Road Trip: The Beginning pt 2, along with a conversation with my dear friend Robb.

Since then I’ve started driving around here, there, and everywhere, going to different places and seeing the sites! I absolutely love road trips. They’re the best way to see a country. This particular trip is from the northern tip of New Zealand to the southern tip. It’s so exciting!!

Though I’m on the road trip now, you can take a look at how I’ve mapped out my path.

Enjoy!

The Expat Experience

Let me be the first to tell you, I LOVE BEING ON A PODCAST.

Seriously, it’s like one of my favorite things to do! You put together the plan, you go through the process, you practice the questions, then when you’re finally ready, you record the podcast.

So. Much. Fun.

Podcasts have taken the world by storm and it seems like everyone has one they want to recommend! I was at dinner the other day with a friend, and during a short pause, he looked at me quite seriously and asked, “What podcasts are you listening to?”

In this particular dinner, I mentioned The Expat Experience.

As an expat myself, I enjoy hearing other expat stories and being encouraged by what they say! I am so very fortunate, to have been a guest for 2 of such type of podcasts: Melanated Stamps, a podcast about American minorities traveling abroad. The other is The Expat Experience.

The Expat Experience was started by Amelia J., a Canadian who is currently living in Germany. When she posted in a digital nomad facebook group about starting a podcast, I leaped at the opportunity to add a topic that should be discussed, loneliness. Amelia agreed that it was a good topic and asked me to join the podcast for a discussion.

Here it is:

Wasn’t that great? Yeah! I think so too.

I’ve had many conversations with people about living abroad. As Amelia mentions, loneliness is a bit of a taboo topic amongst expats and nomads. But why?

Maybe because we’re supposed to be having the ‘time of our lives’?
Maybe because if admit to feeling lonely, we’re admitting defeat and therefore need to go back home?
Maybe because we don’t have a deep connection of friends to confess our true feelings?

Whatever the reason may be, I fully believe expression of truth allows for one to grow and be free.

I had a chance recently to visit with a man I consider to be a mentor. Let me rephrase that, he visited me! Here! IN NEW ZEALAND!! Conversing with him, seeing him, and hugging him was so warming to the soul.

He brought up another acquaintance who’s doing a journey from Cape Town to Cairo in Africa right now. I’m not sure what inspired him to do that kind of journey, but that is awesome. My mentor looked at me and asked me, “It’s gotta be lonely, right? This life that you guys have chosen.”

My answer: “Yes, all the time.”

They say everybody is fighting their own battle, so be kind because you don’t know what they are fighting. I can tell you right now, most expats and nomads are fighting loneliness.

This isn’t a post about “Woe is me! I’m so lonely in another country.”
This is an awareness post.

Depending on who you are, I want you to take away something from this podcast and post.

  • If you’re an expat feeling lonely, know you’re not alone. Plenty of expats and nomads around you are going through the same thing. It’s going to be okay. I promise! But you NEED to reach out to someone and open up. You don’t need to divulge every detail of your life, but be honest enough to say, I am struggling in this moment.
    Even if the burden you’re carrying is shared with someone who is also a nomad, and will leave your location in a hour/week/month, having the weight lifted off your shoulders for a moment is better than holding on to it alone longer than you need.
  • If you’re a person who has a friend living their dream abroad! Call them. Call them now. I don’t care what time it is, do it. They miss you. Conversations you have, don’t always have to be hours long. There is something precious about receiving a spontaneous text, voicemail, call that says, I’m just here to make sure you’re okay.
    Whether they confess their feelings to you or not, call them. Then do it again in a month. They’ll appreciate it.

  • If you’re about to start your journey prepare yourself. Send a message to your friends asking for their help before you need it. In fact, proof that I practice what I preach, this is what I wrote to my friends who named ourselves the #DolphinGang: (Yes, even in post with my friends, I am referred to, and I refer to myself, as Oneandonlynunez 🙂
    Don’t be discouraged, you’re going to ROCK THIS LIFESTYLE.

We’re not meant to live this life alone, support each other!

Road Trip: Intro pt 2 & Denver Sessions: Robb

In this episode of my blog, I get to mix two of my favorite things: friends and road trips!

These interviews have been so much fun to do! In this episode, I talk about the epic road trip across New Zealand I’m on and I discuss road trips with one of my very good friends.

Feel free to watch and enjoy! 🙂

Healing

Let me know if you’ve experienced this: You go out with an acquaintance/friend/someone, you spend some time around them and you leave telling yourself: “Wow, they have so much wrong them, it explodes onto me when I’m around them,” “They need to work on themselves, because they always bring the mood down,” or maybe even “Spending time with them is always draining”?

Whether it comes from a judgmental place, or becoming more aware of those you allow around you, you can be honest here, we’ve all felt that at one time or another.

Much to my surprise, and delight, I recently experienced the opposite.

I recently started on an epic journey! Touring New Zealand relying on wits, the generosity of people and the grace of God. So far it’s taken me from one suburb of Auckland to another. My journey of 1,000 miles began with a 15 min drive to a new house down the road!

On this journey, I’ve been praying for some things:
1. For peace and protection while I travel around. These are generally nice things to pray for.
2. For people to travel with. I’ve traveled to about 20 countries, let me tell you, the best memories come when you have people by your side.
3. To be open to life changing and big conversations. I don’t want to shy away from those who want to have conversations about faith, death, sexuality, family, or whatever is on their mind. Strangers can make great conversationists and you never know when a conversation can change you.

Recently on this journey, I met another traveler willing to take a chance on getting in a car with a stranger. Together, we hiked, toured some cities, and drank wine on an island. It was a good way to start my road trip.

Before the traveler joined me, I mentioned to them. “Naturally, I’m an introvert. So, there may be times when I just need to be alone or walk away from everything and just recharge in my room. Take the time to do whatever you’d like. Don’t feel bad that I want to be away from you, it’s not you, I just appreciate my solitude.

They admitted they felt the same and would also let me know when they needed to be reading a book in a corner or walk to the nearest cafe to sit alone. It was a great conversation, we made our boundaries and desires known, and we were on our way

Side note #1: learn to set boundaries in your life. Set them with friends, family, and strangers. Hold to them. It’s worth it. Also, respect others’ boundaries.

After spending quite a bit of time with this individual, I noticed something. I didn’t feel the need to escape to the safety of my solitude. My time alone often includes my exploring the distant corners and thoughts of my mind. Yet, around this person, I was ever present.

Toward the end of the time I spent with them, I had a moment where I felt healthy. I was not drained by this time with spent around a stranger. I wasn’t seeking asylum under the covers in the arms of my bed. I was happy to simply exist where I was. It felt healthy.

Funny that I felt “healthy” because previous to this moment, I didn’t feel sick.

Side note #2: I think sometimes we get so used to being sick/in pain/tired we forget what healthiness looks like in specific situations of our life. It’s common for me not to realize I’m experiencing normal human things. (I say ‘human’ as if i’m not one.) Nevertheless, at the end of my days, you can often hear me ask myself, “Did I eat today?” Hunger is a human feeling that can often slip my mind.
Pain, on the other hand, that is hard to go unnoticed. Despite how commonly I’ve experienced it in my life, each ounce of it is an uncomfortable gut wrench that is both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time, each time. Yet despite this discomfort, we make pain comfortable and sit in it. Why do we endure? well, that’s a post for a different day

As I spent time around this stranger I noticed I felt better. Not better about myself because I judged their life choices. Not better because they finally left me alone. I felt like a healthier person after interacting with them. Each of us have felt what I described earlier, the drain of spending time with certain persons. But do many of us have a person that can help reenergize us? Maybe I’ve felt it before, maybe I just haven’t recognized it.

This time I did.

It’s as if the time I spent traveling was actually me checking into rehab, completing the 12 step program, and walking out the other side a burden removed from my shoulders. I was walking with a burden added without me recognizing.
*cue the music* i’m walking on sunshine ohhhh, ohhhh, and it makes me feel good, yeah, alright*

I sincerely hope I can be a person like that to others, while on this trip, and in my daily life.

I will say, one of the most curious things about suddenly feeling healthy, is not wanting to leave it. I find that the problem with getting healthy, is that when you’re finally 100%, you start to like it. You’re reminded that this is the person you like to be. You’re reminded that you’ve gone through some stuff and though you survived it, going through it takes it’s toll. Over time, most things in life do.

Once we’re healthy, we’re left with knowing we must go back through the grind, ever taking its toll on us. And whether it’s in the back of our minds, or at the forefront of thought, within ourselves we know we’ll slowly shrink away from 100%. It may be steps each day that lowers us to 99, then 98, then 97. Or we may go through a free fall down to 60.

So then why do leave the safety of 100? Why escape the safety of being separate from that which takes its toll.

Why don’t we stay in the place we can consistently be connected to what charges us and not brave the world of hurt people. After all, it is the people who are hurt who hurt people. It’s a cycle of pain that we progress ourselves.

Sometimes intentionally, other times on accident.

One of the wonderful things about facts, is that when a fact is true, often the opposite is true. If hurt people, hurt people, then loved people, love people.

It took me a while to see it this way. But this individual who helped me was well loved on their own and therefore capable of spreading their love

To slightly break myself out of my introvert mold and be more balanced, I told myself “if you see something you like, you have to say something.” Its simple, but effective.

I’ll complement a fresh haircut of a stranger. I’ll thank the bus driver for driving modestly (which doesn’t happen often, most bus drivers drive like it’s their last day on the job and they need to get to the next stop as fast as possible.). I’ll let a person know I like their art. It’s a small moment that can change a person’s day for the better.

I caught myself walking down the street of the Central Business District in Auckland. Within a group of people there was one person I admired. As usual, I couldn’t remember his name, but I stepped in front of him anyways and said, “Hey bud, we met months ago. You’re a photographer, I saw your work, it’s great stuff. Keep up the good work.” Immediately, I turned to walk away, I did my part and said I like something to the person who created it and was going about my business.

As I departed, he turned around and to me, “Thanks bro. You made my day, man!”

If a hurt person can ruin an entire day with only a few choice words, then a loved person can make someone’s day with a few choice words.

For me, this was just a simple walk to the grocery store. The first one since leaving my traveling friend. I was walking healthy down the streets of Auckland. As a loved person, I was able to love people. Continuing a cycle of love that can only be progressed through our actions.

That is why we leave our place of 100. Because there are people who need little encouragements, who need burdens removed from their shoulders, even if just for a moment. We leave our place of 100, to help others get to their 100. When we’re loved, then we have the love to give.

I’m glad I got healthy at the beginning of my epic road trip.